A WIP Excerpt from my novel Raven

Hey Guys,

It’s time! The long awaited Excerpt. to give you a little background basically this was from my Nanowrimo novel this year. I’ve had ton of asks on my instagram to share this and today I’ve finally caved in. THIS IS NOT FINAL! Nothing is final! It’s just something I wrote earlier to figure out my Main character Raven.  Also please be mindful about the grammar, (I do know how to spell) ;)It’s five pages, short and sweet, and centers around a killing. Hope you like it! Let  me know if you do! Thanks! 🙂



Scream: A short Story

Raven runs forward gripping the handle of her sword at her side. She grunts jumping across the rooftops of the buildings that line the street.  All is silent save for the wispy winds that carry the light snow across the town. Using her black cloak to blend in with the dark Raven moves forward laying across the cold, metal, roof exhaling quietly, she gives a faint smile watching as the steam from her breath slowly floats into the air. But eyes quickly divert to the street, The once busy street of the old town had an eerie silence surrounding it. Ever since the disappearances had happened at the start of winter, Well let’s just say Raven couldn’t blame the people for not wanting to come out and play in the snow.

She pulls herself up to the edge of the roof catching a brief glimpse of her target and rolls her eyes. The chubby, drunkard, of a man was still wandering aimlessly around the quiet, snow covered, streets of Aconnite. Her hands itched for her to grab at her sword and just finish him. It would have been better for both of them. Unfortunately Raven didn’t decide to go with the latter.

“Where are you going, old man?” Raven says whispering to herself.  The old man walks quickly observing at the roofs to make sure no one is watching him and continues to walk to the end of the street and up the hill to the old town’s graveyard. She shuddered shaking her head, she’d always hated graveyards, even now, as a 19-year old she’d hated them.  She sighed waiting until the drunkard was out of earshot and pulled herself up to the top of the roof  and slid down to the other end kicking against the roof and landing smoothly on the snow covered ground. The sound of her boots hitting the snow filled the echoey streets. Her heart beat faster as the old man advanced up the hill. She shook her head feeling the desire to kill. Not yet she thought. Her thoughts made the whole grimness of the situation a little more bearable. If that sounded sane in any way.

“Focus Raven.” she said aloud.

Rolling her eyes, she watched as the old man turned, casting a glance in the general direction to make sure he wasn’t being followed. As quick as lightning she ducked behind one of the barrel’s barely missing his line of sight and concealing herself. After waiting for a minute she peered her head from the side watching as the old man shrugged continuing to make his way up the hill in the distance.

“Don’t do it.” Raven whispered to herself. Her stomach rumbled with hunger, as she pushed against it trying to make the uncomfortable feeling go away.

“Five more minutes.” Raven whispered to herself. “Five more minutes,  and then I’ll kill the old man, then we can get the money and use it for some food in the morning.”

She shuddered, feeling a draft of wind sending the hood of her green cloak flying backwards revealing her black as ink, curly, hair. Raven shook her head not bothering to pull the hood up and stood staring at a running sprint and kicking up the snow as she ran. Her eyes averted up as she caught glimpse of the man atop the hill.

Raven gripped at the end of her sword pulling it from its scabbard on her waist. Finally The long, obsidian sword basked in the light of the moon as she pulled it out.

The sword, unlike any other was long beyond it’s time, stained with the spots of dried blood and the pommel in the shape of an eagle.

She pulled his hood up and started back up into a sprint. She scrunched her face as she ran, The cold night wind beats furiously against her face.

When I finish this I think I’ll start a fire she thought. As fast as possible, Raven sprinted up the hill, gripping her sword, and looked down below.

Her eyes widened as she could make out another figure with the old man in the distance. In the valley below the ground was covered in a soft white blanket of snow, except for the tops of the stone tombstones poking out from it.

She frowned slowly watching the old man walked slowly to the other.

“Where have I seen-” her whispers were cut short as she watched the other man pull the hood of his cloak off. The bright red beard, the red clasp. Her eyes widened, there was no mistaking the High Advisor of the King.

Slowly Raven crept forward quieting herself to hear their conversation.

“Have you found him yet?”The High Advisor asked, “I can’t have word reaching the capital that we have a murderer in Volcon.”

Raven watched as the old man bit his lip.

“Er- no. the last killing happened yesterday. The locals said they found him at his desk, with a knife in his chest.”

“How has nobody noticed? Where were this man’s relatives? His wife?”

 “All they said was his wife went over to a neighbors and when she came back-”

“How many is that now?” the High Advisor asked abruptly not bothering to hear the rest of the story.

Raven watched as the old man’s eyes averted to the ground.


The High advisor scoffed, “ I believe the last time we met last week you stated 14.”

The old man looked up with pleading eyes, “There were, Honestly. The disappearances have almost tripled since the time you left.”

Raven’s eyes widened, how could this be possible? 46? Right from under her nose?”

“And do you believe this to be the work of Kai?” the High Advisor stated raising an eyebrow.

The old man quickly shook his head, “I-,” his eyes fell to the ground, “I do, but some of the other locals are getting ideas. I keep telling em Kai likes to make a big showing of his killings, and that this was too quiet. But they won’t buy it..”

“How long do we have until suspicions creep in?” The High Advisor asks rolling his eyes.

Raven quietly lays on the snow draping her head over the curve of the hill to better conceal herself. The wind howls in the distance,

“I believe we have er-”


She casts her head back, her eyes widen as she glared. The cool grey eyes, vibrant yellow hair. Kai.

She stands quickly forgetting secrecy and pulls her sword out from her scabbard.

“Stay away from me!” Raven yells sternly pointing her sword straight at the Kai.

He stops staring at her from below, giving her a toothy grin.

“You really think I’m coming for you?” he says in a smooth manner..

“This is my lead. They are my territory. Stay away or I will be forced to kill.”

Kai smiles continuing to advance up the hill,  “I have a right. They are talking about me. They are mine.”

Raven shakes her head gripping at the handle of her sword.

“This ends now.”

Raven raises her sword  running forward and swings to the side in an arch, Kai quickly reacts raising his sword swinging angrily and blocking the blow. The sound of metal upon metal fills the air making Raven’s ears ring as she plunges backwards from the impact hitting the snow, and watching as her sword flies from her hand and down into the snow somewhere below.  She looks up staring at Kai’s face wincing as he raises his sword above his head. This was it, death had came for her. She’d always known it would come for her, she just didn’t realize it would come this soon. She looks up making eye contact with Kai starting to quake in fear..  Shaking; swinging; the light of the moon gleaming between Kai’s sword as he swings.

Through the cold, wispy winds, a scream could be heard.

2 thoughts on “A WIP Excerpt from my novel Raven

  1. This was AMAZING!!!! Jared, I really enjoyed it! …You did a very good job of describing everything…I could see the whole thing! I can’t wait to read the whole Novel!😉

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